by Structured Settlement Watchdog
Editor’s Note (2026): This post originally ran in 2016. The screenshots, props, and marketing choices were every bit as baffling then as they are now. Lightly refreshed for clarity; irreverence preserved in its original form.
Last updated March 6, 2026
Settlement Island represents more social media road kill for a shill for cash for settlement payment purchaser CBC Settlement Funding. United Structured Settlements is simply a lead generation funnel for CBC.
Settlement Island
Let’s have Some Fun and Count the Bloopers
- Ostensibly Robinson Crusoe (Bill) has shipwrecked his dinghy on the rocks of a deserted island, dubbed Settlement island, circled by two sharks, which I will dub “Romulus’ and ‘Remus”
- The ad portrays Romelus and Remus as swimming AWAY from the island.
- Robinson Crusoe has neatly cut clothing despite having no scissors, well coiffed side burns and a Gordon Gecko era brick cell phone.
- Analog cell phones of course cannot be used on today’s digital cellular networks.
- On Settlement Island do they rely on Romulus’ and Remus’ Ampullae of Lorenzini?
- “As seen on TV” the ad says. What like 35 years ago?
- And if they brick cell phone works, then why would there be a need to write SOS in the sand?
- Money washes up on shore in a bottles, which is not exactly reliable, predictable or timely.
- And the company logo is a neatly tied reef knot.
It’s patently obvious that the “schmoopies” who designed the ad have a credible degree in lack of attention to detail
Wonder what’s next “on the Verizon”?
“Slick as a Brick”
Hair on the head, beard, goatee, but hairless arms. Gotta love Ad bloopers Mon