by Structured Settlement Watchdog
Flushing a personal injury settlement down the toilet is harder than it looks. Some “savvy” investors have spent years developing “sound financial plans” that would ensure complete and absolute financial doom.
Settlement planning mistakes
Plaintiffs looking to join the hallowed path of the economic idiocracy need to follow a strict plan if they hope to one day grace the cover of Bankruptcy Illustrated. Thus, let’s outline a foolproof 6-step guide to ensure financial ruin:
Six Step Guide to Financial Ruin
- Hire a Good Friend or Family Member With No Financial Training to Handle Your Money – Then show your confidence in his or her abilities by giving him or her power of attorney and a 20 percent commission. It’s “important” to keep these unqualified people happy. You don’t want credentialed settlement planners trying to steal away someone with one semester of community college accounting away from your “investment team”.
- Invest Heavily in Luxury Automobiles – These “almost always go up” in value.
- Get an Entourage – They can really help expedite the bankruptcy process.
- Don’t Pay Taxes – This way you can blow 100 percent now while waiting for the long-term ramifications of severe, government-issued fines.
- Don’t Budget – That’s for poor people.
- Purchase Exotic Animals – This will make people think you are cool and edgy. Some athletes have done it and things have worked out great for them.
Find out more about what is settlement planning is and how it can benefit you.
* Satire Thank God It’s Friday!
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