by Structured Settlement Watchdog

Fast Annuity Settlement Transfers (FAST) claims that it can “help you sell your annuity”. Now the Boca Raton Florida based company.which is a multi-time Canard of the Week Winner (2024, 2025) is up for another silly ducky award. This wee\k’s nomination.

FAST’s ad copy leans hard into the friendly‑kitchen‑table trope, but the claim that it can “help you sell your annuity” is… generous. Under every state Structured Settlement Protection Act, you can’t sell a structured settlement annuity. The annuity is a “qualified funding asset” and is owned by qualified assignment company. What a factoring company like FAST can attempt to buy—subject to a court order—is your right to receive certain payments, not the annuity itself.

So when FAST positions itself as your personal annuity concierge, it’s not just imprecise. It’s structurally wrong. And in FAST’s case, it’s also on‑brand: this is the same Boca Raton outfit that has already earned multiple Canard of the Week awards for creative interpretations of basic industry terminology.

What FAST can do is petition a court to approve a discounted purchase of your future payments. What it cannot do is sell, broker, transfer, or otherwise handle the annuity contract. That distinction isn’t pedantic—it’s the entire legal framework.

Which makes FAST’s latest ad less “helpful professional guidance” and more “another duck waddling toward the podium.”

Why the Claim Is Legally Impossible

Here’s the regulator‑grade breakdown:

• The annuity owner is the qualified assignment company. The payee never owns the annuity contract itself.
• Payment rights ≠ annuity. A transfer involves only the right to receive certain payments.
• Court approval is mandatory. No court order = no transfer. Period.
• The annuity contract cannot be reassigned. Anti‑assignment clauses and state statutes prohibit it.
• Factoring companies are not annuity brokers. They are purchasers of discounted payment streams, properly defined as receivables, not sellers of insurance products.

So when FAST says it can “help you sell your annuity,” it’s like a pawn shop saying it can help you “sell your bank account.” No, it can’t. It can only buy whatever you’re allowed to hand over.

FAST’s Track Record Makes the Claim Even Funnier

FAST is a multi‑time Canard of the Week winner (2024, 2025), and for good reason:

• misuse of basic industry terminology
• marketing that blurs legal distinctions
• repeated “policy transfer” language that doesn’t exist in structured settlements
• a general enthusiasm for saying things that sound good but aren’t true

This ad is simply the 2026 entry in the FAST “creative writing” series.

The Consumer‑Protection Angle

The danger isn’t just semantics. When a company tells consumers it can “sell your annuity,” it:

• misrepresents the nature of the transaction
• implies a level of control the consumer doesn’t have
• suggests a fiduciary or advisory role that doesn’t exist
• obscures the fact that the company is a counterparty, not a helper
• downplays the discount rate and economic consequences

Consumers deserve clarity, not kitchen‑table stock photos and soft‑focus promises.

Bottom Line🐤➡️🦆💨

FAST can:

• solicit you
• offer you a discounted lump sum
• petition a court
• buy certain payment rights

FAST cannot:

• sell your annuity
• transfer your annuity
• broker your annuity
• change the annuity owner
• modify the annuity contract

So yes — this ad earns FAST yet another nomination for Silly Ducky of the Week.🐤

At this point, the ducks are practically unionizing.

A Quick Reality Check: They Can’t Make Foie Gras Out of Your Annuity 🦆🍽️

If FAST’s marketing team wants to imply they can “help you sell your annuity,” let’s extend the metaphor to its logical conclusion: they can’t make foie gras out of your annuity any more than they can turn a structured settlement into a charcuterie board.