Very often – when professionals are involved in daily dealings with both competitors and colleagues, perception overrides and rewrites reality. We may perceive one approach, one associate or one corporation being better than another; however, the reality may be that, in fact, they may be detrimental. Conversely, we can steer clear of one method, contemporary, or company because we’ve had a bad experience, when the reality is that they may be the best path.
We generally base such perceptions on past experiences. If we encounter a negative experience and tie it to someone, we more often than not view that to be expected rather than the exception when that person is involved. Likewise, if we enjoy a positive experience with a specific person or carrier; we feel this is the norm when they’re involved simply association.
For example, suppose a broker believes they have been mistreated by a company – the broker’s perception of that company is that they are incompetent, devious, and/or dishonest. This perception is the broker’s reality.
However, the company may have, indeed, done everything that was asked of them, but due to such unforeseen variables such as timing, priorities, protocol, and/or a simple misunderstanding, they were unable to completely meet the needs of the broker. When the broker (due to the broker’s newly perceived reality) lashes out at the company, the company’s perception of the broker is that he or she is obnoxious, arrogant, and/or overly demanding. Subsequently, the carrier (in their “new” reality) deals with the broker in the way they see the broker someone to avoid.
The problem often comes in the communication did the broker explain the situation, detail the timing (past, present and future), offer potential solutions, and ask for an expected date? Likewise, did the carrier repeat the request back to the broker to show a complete understanding of the circumstances, suggest alternative options based on previous experiences, then follow through with the request, all while keeping the lines of communication open?
The minute reality and perception drift apart, the more the distancing perception recreates, justifies, refines, then defines their new “reality”. As a result, the more difficult it is to fuse them back together. And if it IS fused back, they will always leave a lasting mark some leave a beauty mark, others leave a scar.
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